Comments on: Why Can’t I Find A Decent Man? http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/dating-and-relationship-advice-for-women/why-cant-i-find-a-decent-man.html Relationship Coaching, Advice And Training For Women Tue, 17 Aug 2010 08:15:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: Natalie http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/dating-and-relationship-advice-for-women/why-cant-i-find-a-decent-man.html/comment-page-1#comment-6 Natalie Thu, 23 Jul 2009 11:15:00 +0000 http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/?p=82#comment-6 Hi Elaine. Thanks so much for your reply! :) you highlighted some interesting points that I hadn't considered before. When you wrote that I may be projecting desperation I began to realise that while I'm not desperate (in the sense of I have good standards/morals and don't do 'desperate' things to attract ment) I am most likely giving off some type of desperate aura in either the way I act or the things I say. And yes, I feel loads of pressure (mainly from my mum who keeps reminding me I'm the last single girl around) and those feelings arise like insecurities. I am very well put together and generally confident but I have no doubt that I now need to relax a bit and focus on projecting healthy and happy feelings. So thank you for bringing this issue to light :) Hi Elaine. Thanks so much for your reply! :) you highlighted some interesting points that I hadn’t considered before. When you wrote that I may be projecting desperation I began to realise that while I’m not desperate (in the sense of I have good standards/morals and don’t do ‘desperate’ things to attract ment) I am most likely giving off some type of desperate aura in either the way I act or the things I say. And yes, I feel loads of pressure (mainly from my mum who keeps reminding me I’m the last single girl around) and those feelings arise like insecurities. I am very well put together and generally confident but I have no doubt that I now need to relax a bit and focus on projecting healthy and happy feelings. So thank you for bringing this issue to light :)

]]> By: Elaine http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/dating-and-relationship-advice-for-women/why-cant-i-find-a-decent-man.html/comment-page-1#comment-5 Elaine Wed, 22 Jul 2009 23:55:33 +0000 http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/?p=82#comment-5 <strong>Hi Natalie</strong> Lovely to hear from you- To answer your question. Being 20 something you are young- but I know what it's like when everyone is in a relationship. That being said from your brief descriptions this is my observation. Now please take this the right way, but if you are under any outside pressure to find your Mr Right, <strong>you may </strong>be projecting desperation. This is a total turn off for most guys except possibly the wrong ones. If you have only had one semi serious relationship, then you are not yet ready to meet him, you really need to know who you are first and what <strong>YOU WANT</strong>, or you'll settle for a guy just to be in a relationship with him. If you are ready to settle down as apposed to having a few relationships first, then again you will be projecting this- and men of your age aren't typically looking to settle down yet. ( older guys in their 30's are much more ready to settle down- 20 somethings are still maturing and thinking about fun and short term relationships with women) <strong>Let me ask you these questions</strong> Are you able to be friends with men? If you are then you will be able to have a friendship first which is vital to keep Mr Right Are you sure you're being your true self? From the video you watched What are your expectations? Do you think you should be in a relationship and be serious already? Again this will put guys off plus stop you being your true self. <strong>In the video,</strong> I talk at length about being confident and comfortable self, are you able to project this? Obviously without talking to you my answers can only be brief and general. Though I hoped these helped- let me know if they did or not. Elaine <strong>DOES ANYONE ELSE NOT AGREE? AGREE? </strong>Leave your comments below- maybe we can give Natalie the benefit of your experience. Hi Natalie
Lovely to hear from you- To answer your question.

Being 20 something you are young- but I know what it’s like when everyone is in a relationship. That being said from your brief descriptions this is my observation.

Now please take this the right way, but if you are under any outside pressure to find your Mr Right, you may be projecting desperation. This is a total turn off for most guys except possibly the wrong ones.

If you have only had one semi serious relationship, then you are not yet ready to meet him, you really need to know who you are first and what YOU WANT, or you’ll settle for a guy just to be in a relationship with him.

If you are ready to settle down as apposed to having a few relationships first, then again you will be projecting this- and men of your age aren’t typically looking to settle down yet. ( older guys in their 30’s are much more ready to settle down- 20 somethings are still maturing and thinking about fun and short term relationships with women)

Let me ask you these questions

Are you able to be friends with men? If you are then you will be able to have a friendship first which is vital to keep Mr Right
Are you sure you’re being your true self? From the video you watched
What are your expectations? Do you think you should be in a relationship and be serious already? Again this will put guys off plus stop you being your true self.

In the video, I talk at length about being confident and comfortable self, are you able to project this?

Obviously without talking to you my answers can only be brief and general.

Though I hoped these helped- let me know if they did or not.

Elaine

DOES ANYONE ELSE NOT AGREE? AGREE? Leave your comments below- maybe we can give Natalie the benefit of your experience.

]]> By: Natalie http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/dating-and-relationship-advice-for-women/why-cant-i-find-a-decent-man.html/comment-page-1#comment-4 Natalie Wed, 22 Jul 2009 22:06:46 +0000 http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/?p=82#comment-4 Hi Elaine, I've really enjoyed your site; your videos are insightful and really friendly :) Here's my situation: I'm an attractive, in my mid-20's female. I'm intelligent, career-oriented, sociable and fun to be around. So my question is, "Where is he?" I've only had 1 brief(dead-end)relationship that left me really disillusioned. I've dealt with those emotions and am ready for the relationship I know I deserve. I've visualised him, put myself out there, am myself around men, but I still haven't met him. However, I'm worried that I'll be single forever and I feel a lot of pressure to settle down from my family (and all my friends are in relationships). Any advice? Thanks! x Hi Elaine,

I’ve really enjoyed your site; your videos are insightful and really friendly :)

Here’s my situation: I’m an attractive, in my mid-20’s female. I’m intelligent, career-oriented, sociable and fun to be around. So my question is, “Where is he?” I’ve only had 1 brief(dead-end)relationship that left me really disillusioned. I’ve dealt with those emotions and am ready for the relationship I know I deserve. I’ve visualised him, put myself out there, am myself around men, but I still haven’t met him. However, I’m worried that I’ll be single forever and I feel a lot of pressure to settle down from my family (and all my friends are in relationships).

Any advice? Thanks!

x

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