Comments on: What Are The Signs That My Relationship Is Ending? http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/relationship-ends/what-are-the-signs-that-my-relationship-is-ending.html Relationship Coaching, Advice And Training For Women Tue, 17 Aug 2010 08:15:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: Elaine Bothwell http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/relationship-ends/what-are-the-signs-that-my-relationship-is-ending.html/comment-page-1#comment-28 Elaine Bothwell Tue, 17 Aug 2010 08:15:56 +0000 http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/?p=70#comment-28 Hi teatea If it is as you say that your boyfriend is no longer attracted to you, then I am truly sorry that you are experiencing that. From what you say he is making it difficult for you to be together because these types of comments, typically come from a person who is pulling away from their partner. They do this to break the emotional ties therefore making it easier for them to leave the relationship, it's a bit like getting yourself emotionally ready before a live presentation or visiting the dentist. This of course is not great for you because again typically all constructive communication tends to stop. Now I don't know what stage you are at, but again typically when one partner pulls away, instead of it having the desired effect and making the other person pull away it can make them want to cling even tighter- and that sounds like you've taken on this role. As harsh as this sounds, if your boyfriend is doing these things and you've asked him outright if he wants to end things, and despite what he may say you believe it's over, then it's time for you to prepare yourself emotionally for the end of that relationship. I would normally advise to sit down and talk to your boyfriend and ask him to clarify what he means by boring etc because then you would know what the problem is and where it is to fix it, however if your boyfriend is intent on finishing the relationship then this could lead him to saying things to you to hurt you even more because he wants to make it easier for him and in some cases have someone to blame for the break up of that relationship. I know that sounds cruel thing to do but sometimes the guilt can make others deliberately sabotage the relationship so that they can 'blame' the other person. Okay this is what I suggest. 1. Ask him directly what is going on. You have nothing to lose here and potentially if the problem can be fixed at least you will know from asking. 2. Depending on his answer and how he answers decide for yourself whether or not the relationship is over 3. Prepare yourself emotionally for the end by acknowledging that it is over 4. Get the support of your girlfriends and decide on the practical things such as moving out or him moving out etc 5. Stop all intimate contact. This will make things harder if the relationship is at an end. Disclaimer Please note that as I do not have both of you hear to talk to, my advice may not be appropriate for your relationship and it is your responsibility therefore if you take my advice. In saying that I wish you the best. Hi teatea
If it is as you say that your boyfriend is no longer attracted to you, then I am truly sorry that you are experiencing that. From what you say he is making it difficult for you to be together because these types of comments, typically come from a person who is pulling away from their partner. They do this to break the emotional ties therefore making it easier for them to leave the relationship, it’s a bit like getting yourself emotionally ready before a live presentation or visiting the dentist.

This of course is not great for you because again typically all constructive communication tends to stop. Now I don’t know what stage you are at, but again typically when one partner pulls away, instead of it having the desired effect and making the other person pull away it can make them want to cling even tighter- and that sounds like you’ve taken on this role.

As harsh as this sounds, if your boyfriend is doing these things and you’ve asked him outright if he wants to end things, and despite what he may say you believe it’s over, then it’s time for you to prepare yourself emotionally for the end of that relationship.

I would normally advise to sit down and talk to your boyfriend and ask him to clarify what he means by boring etc because then you would know what the problem is and where it is to fix it, however if your boyfriend is intent on finishing the relationship then this could lead him to saying things to you to hurt you even more because he wants to make it easier for him and in some cases have someone to blame for the break up of that relationship.

I know that sounds cruel thing to do but sometimes the guilt can make others deliberately sabotage the relationship so that they can ‘blame’ the other person.

Okay this is what I suggest.
1. Ask him directly what is going on. You have nothing to lose here and potentially if the problem can be fixed at least you will know from asking.
2. Depending on his answer and how he answers decide for yourself whether or not the relationship is over
3. Prepare yourself emotionally for the end by acknowledging that it is over
4. Get the support of your girlfriends and decide on the practical things such as moving out or him moving out etc
5. Stop all intimate contact. This will make things harder if the relationship is at an end.

Disclaimer
Please note that as I do not have both of you hear to talk to, my advice may not be appropriate for your relationship and it is your responsibility therefore if you take my advice.

In saying that I wish you the best.

]]> By: teatea http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/relationship-ends/what-are-the-signs-that-my-relationship-is-ending.html/comment-page-1#comment-27 teatea Sat, 14 Aug 2010 02:31:14 +0000 http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/?p=70#comment-27 Me and my boy friend have been together for 10 months. And I feel he is no longer attractied to me or even wants to be bothered by me. When I am around him sometimes I get that vibe of him not wanting to be around me. When I do talk to him its always that I'm not keeping him entertained or I'm boring. I'm believing that our relationship is comin to an end....wht should I do? Me and my boy friend have been together for 10 months. And I feel he is no longer attractied to me or even wants to be bothered by me. When I am around him sometimes I get that vibe of him not wanting to be around me. When I do talk to him its always that I’m not keeping him entertained or I’m boring. I’m believing that our relationship is comin to an end….wht should I do?

]]> By: Elaine Bothwell http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/relationship-ends/what-are-the-signs-that-my-relationship-is-ending.html/comment-page-1#comment-20 Elaine Bothwell Mon, 08 Mar 2010 19:08:33 +0000 http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/?p=70#comment-20 Hi Angel Sometimes there are signs and sometimes relationships get too intense too quickly and burn out. The trouble with most new relationships is that the beginning of it is so exciting this can be mistaken for love and even that you have met your ideal or perfect partner. It usually takes between 1 and 3 months for the honeymoon period to ware off and it's at this stage that the relationship will either go from strength to strength or fold. This is the period where either person in the relationship will be assessing whether they want to be with that person or not and they start to notice all the things that are wrong with the other person and set of to try and change them. As clichéd as this is - you will get over him and you will find someone new. AND the best way not to repeat this kind of missed communication is to learn from what went 'wrong' and vow not to repeat it. Keep well and remember you are worth the love of a good man Elaine Hi Angel
Sometimes there are signs and sometimes relationships get too intense too quickly and burn out. The trouble with most new relationships is that the beginning of it is so exciting this can be mistaken for love and even that you have met your ideal or perfect partner. It usually takes between 1 and 3 months for the honeymoon period to ware off and it’s at this stage that the relationship will either go from strength to strength or fold. This is the period where either person in the relationship will be assessing whether they want to be with that person or not and they start to notice all the things that are wrong with the other person and set of to try and change them.

As clichéd as this is – you will get over him and you will find someone new. AND the best way not to repeat this kind of missed communication is to learn from what went ‘wrong’ and vow not to repeat it.

Keep well and remember you are worth the love of a good man
Elaine

]]> By: Is your Relationship Ending? Are you finding it difficult Moving On? | EveryTherapist http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/relationship-ends/what-are-the-signs-that-my-relationship-is-ending.html/comment-page-1#comment-13 Is your Relationship Ending? Are you finding it difficult Moving On? | EveryTherapist Tue, 15 Sep 2009 17:50:44 +0000 http://www.askelainenow.com/blog/?p=70#comment-13 [...] What are the signs that my relationship is ending? | How To … [...] [...] What are the signs that my relationship is ending? | How To … [...]

]]>